About a week back, AngieBee and I went and saw THE EXPENDABLES and while it was a good movie, it wasn’t what I was expecting. What we were expecting was the ultimate homage to the action flicks of yesteryear, the brawny muscle epics that she and I had grown up on. What we got was a decent, but very modern and cold, action pic that barely resembled the movies that Stallone was hoping to pay homage to.
The main fault, the almost crippling issue, with the movie was that there was no motive, no reasoning. “The Expendables” of the title were simply kicking ass and taking names because they wanted to. Sure, there was some bullshit reason about how some Latina gal had a connection with Stallone and he had to save her, but it didn’t work. There was no driving force that made me connect with the characters. And while it was an action pic and that’s a genre that doesn’t really deliver much in terms of story, there needs to be something for us (the audience) to relate to. We need that small morsel of plot or motive that allows us to understand why our hero is killing everything and everyone in sight. That’s just something that THE EXPENDABLES didn’t deliver and it failed in it’s “action epic homage” mission.
That is not the case with MACHETE. Click on the pic to read my full review…
Tags: cheech marin, danny trejo, don johnson, ethan maniquis, jeff fahey, lindsay lohan, mexsploitation, michelle rodriguez, nimrod antal, robert deniro, robert rodriguez, steven seagal, the expendables, tom savini
The best way to see Daniel Stamm’s THE LAST EXORCISM is like I did, completely uninformed. Going in, all I knew about this flick was that Eli Roth had produced it and that apparently it was a movie about a last exorcism. Outside of that, however, I knew nothing. Didn’t know who was starring, who wrote it, hadn’t even really seen a trailer for it. And you know what, I’m glad I saw this way. This is a movie that is meant to be discovered, not forced upon you.
Now, since seeing the movie, I have watched the trailers, checked out the posters and read some of the reviews and I can safely say that you need to AVOID all of those things, including potentially this very review. The trailers make the movie out to be a loud scare-a-minute horrorfest (which it’s not, though it is VERY scary), not to mention most of them feature material that is nowhere to be seen in the actual film. As far as I can tell, THE LAST EXORCISM features no CG (save for a very brief moment) but you couldn’t tell that from these spots which seem to think the movie is THE EXORCIST PART DEUX.
Click on the pic to read J’s full review…
Tags: ashley bell, daniel stamm, eli roth, patrick fabian, the last exorcism
Since I’m a bit late with this review of THE EXPENDABLES, I’ll do my best to keep it short and sweet.
This flick is more-or-less what you’re expecting and nothing that you’re not. Does that make sense? Not sure, but it’s what I’m sticking with. Basically, for a movie that features Sylvester Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason Statham, Mickey Rourke, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis, Terry Crews and Randy Couture this should’ve been the most epic action movie of all-time. Bigger than THE TERMINATOR, bigger than RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II, bigger than DIE HARD, this should’ve been the biggest, baddest, most over-the-top ever made.
Instead, THE EXPENDABLES is a really good piece of fluff.
Click on the pic to read J’s full review…
Tags: charisma carpenter, dolph lundgren, eric roberts, gary daniels, jason statham, jet li, mickey rourke, randy couture, steve austin, sylvester stallone, terry crews
Is there such a thing as a perfect b-movie?
From a technical standpoint, a b-movie by title alone means that it is inferior, as if going to the movies was graded and a B is definitely lower than an A. Plus, there’s the history of b-movies which pretty much states that they are almost always movies that are not of A quality. A b-movie is a film that revels in excessive violence, delights in foul language and exploits every angle of the nude form that is humanly possible. These are the movie that were pioneered by men like Roger Corman, Samuel Z. Arkoff and William Castle, men who solely wanted to provide cheap thrills to the masses.
So is there such a thing as a perfect b-movie? Not a b-movie that transcends its roots and becomes an A, but one that is so perfect in its delivery that it pegs the top of the b-movie rating and excels above all others.
Theorizing aside, PIRANHA 3D is a perfect b-movie. It is, by far, the best movie about prehistoric killer fish eating college kids that you’ll see all year. And, as if that wasn’t enough, it’s the best 3D movie of the summer (maybe the year). Yeah, I said it, the 3D in PIRANHA 3D is great. I’ve read reports that it was dodgy, headache inducing and generally dark, but I didn’t get any of that. Maybe the projectionists at those theaters don’t know how to properly display 3D movies or something.
Click on the pic to read J’s full review…
Tags: Adam Scott, alex aja, elisabeth shue, piranha 3d
SCOTT PILGRIM VS THE WORLD is 95% brilliant and 5% absolutely infuriating. Yeah, I realize that I’m a little late to the game with this review and that the movie has basically bombed at this point. However, events that were beyond my control kept me from seeing this last weekend and I have just now gotten around to seeing it. To be quite honest, I should’ve seen it last weekend and I’ll be seeing it again in the next day or two. SCOTT PILGRIM is just that good.
Click on the pic to read J’s full review…
Tags: edgar wright, michael cera, scott pilgrim vs the world
Steve Carell. Do I really need to say more?
Okay, I probably do, but let’s get this right out the way: Steve Carell is the main reason that you need to see DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS. There are other decent performances in this flick, other funny moments that don’t involve him, but when it all boils down, Carell is the main attraction here. Every time he’s on-screen, SCHMUCKS lights up and delivers the funny. Every time he’s not, the movie sort-of falters and sputters, waiting for him to return. Even poor Paul Rudd can’t compete with the guy.
Click on the pic to read J’s full review of DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS…
Tags: bruce greenwood, dinner for schmucks, paul rudd, steve carell
Straight up, no cop comedy will probably ever top the epic heights reached by HOT FUZZ. Need to establish that right off before reviewing THE OTHER GUYS, the new comedy from director Adam McKay and star Will Ferrell. However, as good as HOT FUZZ is, THE OTHER GUYS comes pretty close to nabbing that coveted top spot, only missing it by the narrowest of margins.
The main fault to be had here is that McKay and company get bogged down in an actual plot. That’s right, the surreal, almost “make it up as we go along”, vibe from previous McKay/Ferrell efforts like ANCHORMAN, TALLADEGA NIGHTS and STEP BROTHERS is here, though it’s filtered through an honest-to-goodness plot that involves Steve Coogan, a massive Ponzi scheme, the lottery, Australian specials forces bodyguards, various ethnic baddies and tons of other bits that I won’t bother listing here. The most shocking aspect here is the fact that THE OTHER GUYS really isn’t a spoof of the “buddy cop” genre, but is rather a thinly veiled commentary on the economy.
Click on the pic to read J and AlannaLynn’s full reviews…
Tags: adam mckay, dwayne johnson, eva mendes, mark wahlberg, pimps don't cry, ray stevenson, samuel l jackson, steve coogan, the other guys, the rock, will ferrell
SALT is a big summer thriller that really, REALLY wants to be the next BOURNE franchise and nearly succeeds in doing so until a completely brain-dead third act derails the entire film. Fortunately, the movie is entertaining enough to warrant a big screen viewing and star Angelina Jolie does her absolute best with the material at hand, so all is not lost.
Click on the pic to read J’s full review…
Tags: angelina jolie, kurt wimmer, phillip noyce, salt
It seems Alanna Lynn’s sneaking out of the woodwork to do a review on THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE! Now knock that crazy look off your face! Overall, SORCERER’S APPRENTICE was a great, whimsical movie. It was a good, “sit back and relax” movie that you didn’t have to think much about but took you on a nice ride nonetheless. Let’s relate it to watching a HARRY POTTER movie, though without Hogwarts and me judging it because it’s not like the book (I don’t do that– noooo! Also, a forewarning, all HP references are due to my rereading HP in preparation for the final two movies. ) Fun movie, good actors, yay magic! *boom*
Click on the pic to read AlannaLynn’s full review of THE SORCERER’S APPRENTICE…
Tags: alfred molina, alice krige, jay bruachel, monica bellucci, nic cage, teresa palmer
Straight up, I’ve been having a hard time figuring out what to call PREDATORS. Technically speaking, it’s supposed to be a sequel to the 1987 Arnold Schwarzenegger action epic PREDATOR. Matter of fact, they even directly reference to that flick during the course of this one, so the connection is there and it does make for a viable argument that this is, in fact, a sequel.
However, PREDATORS feels more like a reboot to me. The basic storyline is nearly identical to the original (group of interchangeable commandos in the jungle fighting an invisible assassin), most of the characters seem to be cut from the same cloth as the original and PREDATORS is so jam-packed with homages that it feels like a reboot. I’m not kidding, there’s so many homages to the original here that they cease to feel like little nods and seem more like cut-and-paste screenwriting.
Click on the pic to read my full review of PREDATORS…
Tags: adrien brody, alice braga, danny trejo, midquel, nimrod antal, predators, reboot, robert rodriguez, sequel
