When the crew of the Enterprise is called back home, they find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization has attacked Starfleet and everything it stands for, leaving our world in a state of crisis. With a personal score to settle, Captain Kirk (Chris Pine) leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture John Harrison (Benedict Cumberbatch), a one man weapon of mass destruction. As our heroes are propelled into an epic chess game of life and death, love will be challenged, friendships will be torn apart, and sacrifices must be made for the only family Kirk has left: his crew.

Regardless of how you feel about director J.J. Abrams, his high-octane 2009 reboot of the STAR TREK franchise, or his “Mystery Box” (AKA “Keep everything a secret even if that means lying to your fanbase”) approach to making movies, there is no denying the man knows how to craft a cracking good summer blockbuster. No denying whatsoever. Drop all the lens flares and convenient plotting jokes you want but none of that sh*t matters when a film is entertaining.

STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS is an incredible piece of entertainment. It’s action-packed; it’s chock full of fun performances; it has a deliciously ruthless villain in the form of Kha --er, JOHN HARRISON (Benedict Cumberbatch); it’s twisty enough to keep you guessing but visually impressive enough to make up for the fact some of those twists don’t quite work. To give you an idea of how thoroughly entertaining INTO DARKNESS (I refuse to acronym it down to STID) is, it somehow manages to be a time travel movie despite not having any actual time travel in it.

How does a movie that semi-revolves around time travel not have any actual time travel in it? Well, for starters, remember in Abrams’ first TREK pic when Nero (Eric Bana) and his giant mining ship, The Narada, laid waste to the USS Kelvin, forty-seven Klingon warbirds, most of Starfleet, Vulcan, and a good portion of San Francisco bay? Those events, along with the appearance of a genetically enhanced human named Kha --er, JOHN HARRISON who has spent the past 300 years in cryosleep, have changed Starfleet. Those events caused an organization series creator Gene Roddenberry envisioned as a space-borne humanitarian and peacekeeping armada to turn into a war machine.

See what I was saying about time travel with no time travel? Yeah, Nero legit traveled through time and JOHN HARRISON did the Rip Van Winkle thing but the former occurred in another movie and the latter goes down off-screen but …I’m not sure what I’m getting at here. I just really dug that the time travel stuff carried over and wasn’t dismissed as it usually is in most sci-fi sequels. Remember how the Enterprise whipped around the sun and traveled back to 1986 in STAR TREK IV: THE VOYAGE HOME? Or how it casually zipped in and out of wormholes in STAR TREK: FIRST CONTACT? Remember how those events were never mentioned nor utilized again? That is not the case here. What happened in Abrams’ first TREK pic is still felt throughout the events of INTO DARKNESS.

In its own very cool geeky little way, Abrams’ alternate universe is the beginning of the darkest timeline glimpsed in the classic TREK episode “Mirror Mirror”. If Starfleet doesn’t quit building warships like the USS Vengeance (no spoilers here …but sweet baby Jebus is that thing MENACING) and waging secret war against unknown cultures, I wouldn’t be shocked in the slightest if Spock and Kirk sport evil little goatees in the next installment.

Honestly, my gripes with STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS are few. You’ll find my main complaint, which is basically six or seven mini-complaints, down in the LOW POINTS section. Don’t worry, it’s nothing too serious. I think. The good outweighs the bad here. Nearly 95% of this flick is a perfect entertainment. The other 5% is …eh. You’ll see in a second.

The film is much zippier and fun than the trailers, title, and marketing would have you believe; Benedict Cumberbatch makes for a great Kha …er, JOHN HARRISON and the bit where he annihilates an entire squad of Klingons (and their ships!) might just be the most badass TREK moment EVER; Bruce Greenwood and Leonard Nimoy clock in welcome cameos; the returning cast members (Pine, Quinto, Zoe Saldana, Karl Urban, John Cho, Anton Yelchin, Simon Pegg) and newcomers (Alice Eve, Peter Weller, Noel Clarke, Cumberbatch) mesh well and all deliver top notch performances; Abrams has dialed back the lens flares and pumped up the galaxy hopping and breathless action sequences; the IMAX 3D is used to great effect

Everything following Spock yelling “KHA --er, HAAAAARRRISSSONN!” is a complete mess. The scream, the Tribble, the crash, the 70s cop show foot chase through the streets of San Francisco, the final fight, the quiet reveal that [MEGA SPOILER ALERT!!!] death no longer exists in the Abrams TREK-verse, the refreezing of Kha --er, JOHN HARRISON, the first moments of the “five year mission” -- all very exciting stuff that serves only to undo the most powerful moment of the film.

Had Abrams ended INTO DARKNESS just moments before the scream, he’d have delivered a ballsy cliffhanger ending worthy of STAR TREK II: THE WRATH OF KHAN and THE EMPIRE STRIKES BACK. But because he goes all DARK KNIGHT and keeps things running for an unnecessary fourth mini-act, the entire film transforms from heartfelt (I dare you to not tear up when Spock deploys the Vulcan mind meld and salute) and thought-provoking (the bad guys are bad but exist in a very grey moral area) to daft (Death no longer exists!!) disaster porn (Are we to believe that the Earth of the future has no missile or laser defense system to protect itself?) in the space of one scream.

When this hits DVD and Blu-Ray, the recommended course of action is that you shut the film off before the scream hits. Do that and you’ve got yourself a damn near perfect piece of entertainment. Keep watching and you’ve got yourself a damn fine piece of entertainment that basically loses its f*cking mind for ten minutes.

Unnecessary fourth mini-act gripes aside, STAR TREK INTO DARKNESS is an incredible piece of entertainment that expertly dabbles in multiple sci-fi conventions while tweaking the established canon in very interesting ways. While I was initially put off by Abrams’ decision to focus more on action (which is more STAR WARS than TREK) than exploration (the TREK I was raised on), I get it now. Nero changed things. Kha --er, JOHN HARRISON has changed things. What was known is now unknown. Action-packed wasn’t a style choice; it was a matter of canon. Well done, Abrams. Well done.

Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) wrestles with inner demons while contending with monsters of his own creation in writer\director Shane Black’s IRON MAN 3. Picking up shortly after the events of THE AVENGERS, Tony remains deeply haunted by the experience of traveling into another dimension in order to save New York City. Unable to sleep, he throws himself into his work with such intensity that it begins to take a heavy toll on both his mental health and his relationship with Pepper Potts (Gwyneth Paltrow).

Tony has only started to appreciate the gravity of his problems when an enigmatic terrorist named the Mandarin (Ben Kingsley) hijacks the airwaves and threatens to bring America to its knees with a painful series of "lessons" that even President Ellis (William Sadler) won't be able to ignore. When Tony's former security guard Happy Hogan (Jon Favreau) is badly injured in an explosion caused by one of the Mandarin's agents, the vengeful playboy issues a public threat that results in his home being completely destroyed in a devastating attack, leaving him to face his enemy with only one badly damaged prototype suit.

Fortunately, Tony isn't on his own, and with the help of James Rhodes (Don Cheadle) and a young boy named Harley (Ty Simpkins), he pieces together the mystery of the Mandarin, whose final "lesson" promises to be the most painful of all.

Superhero threequels are notoriously tricky to pull off. The third installment almost always makes enough bank to keep the franchise rolling ...but when are they ever any GOOD? For every one good threequel (THE DARK KNIGHT RISES) there always seems to be four subpar ones just waiting to disappoint by cramming too many new faces (SPIDER-MAN 3), spin-off nonsense (BLADE: TRINITY), unnecessary comedy (SUPERMAN 3), outlandish day-glow set retcon (BATMAN FOREVER), or pointless character deaths (X-MEN: THE LAST STAND) into the mix.

To be honest, I fully expected IRON MAN 3 to be a subpar threequel.

Why? Well, for starters, IRON MAN 2. I like that flick but know full well it’s a bit of a hot mess. The characters no longer seemed to click (Tony was suicidal, Pepper actively hated him for most of the film, and Rhodey 2.0 up and steals an Iron Man suit mere moments after delivering a speech about how he just convinced the military out of storming in and STEALING THE IRON MAN SUITS!), the plot was jumbled (I’m still reeling from the fact that “Demon In A Bottle”, one of Iron Man’s most important storylines, was compressed into a seven minute action bit), and the villains never really got their sh*t together (Why exactly did Justin Hammer give full control of a motherf*cking robot army to a convicted sociopath like Ivan Vanko?). Oh and don’t even get me started on the fact IM2 is more a prequel to THE AVENGERS than a sequel to IRON MAN. I’m all for in jokes and references but IM2 went too far.

Another reason I fully expected IM3 to be subpar was because THE AVENGERS was so above par. Not only did that flick make like 1.5 BILLION dollars at the box office, it also successfully managed to combine four separate franchises into one new franchise while leaving room for future installments in the separate franchises. That’s unheard of! That’s crazy! That’s awesome! That’s something I totally wouldn’t want to be the follow-up to! Even if IM3 makes a billion dollars at the box office, it’ll be considered a financial disappointment. Think about for that a sec.

But the biggest reason I expected IM3 to be subpar was the marketing campaign. Every trailer, TV spot, and poster released thus far has been visually impressive but tonally worrisome. It’s all been disaster porn spliced with terrorist imagery (yes, I know the first IRON MAN mined similar territory but once was enough) and the INCEPTION “Brahhhhmmmm!” sound for good measure. If it wasn’t Tony’s Malibu mansion being razed or him bleeding out inside his suit, it was The Mandarin -- a character whose big screen makeover has transformed him from a uncomfortable Fu Manchu clone into a uncomfortable Osama Bin Laden clone -- teaching “lessons” to those who opposed him. My gut feeling was that the suits at Marvel Studios had deemed genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist Tony Stark too playful and given him a “grim and gritty” DARK KNIGHT makeover.

Thankfully, my gut feeling was wrong. The marketing was Marvel Studios playing “Bait And Switch”. It served only to get you into the theater so they could reveal as IRON MAN 3 a GREAT threequel. Color me surprised.

Gone are most of the problems that derailed IM2 (No extraneous subplots!) and threequels in general (No Evil or Emo Tony!) and in their place are clever twists, smart writing, and characters you can actually care about again. Writer/Director Shane Black has crafted a jazzy bit of superhero cinema that effortlessly blends elements from film noir, James Bond, and superhero satire with the already familiar. Had I just followed Wesley Snipes’ advice and bet on Black instead of worrying about the threequel curse, IM2, and marketing, I’d have saved myself some serious fanboy headaches.

Not only is Black is one of the most underrated directors (KISS KISS BANG BANG, his previous collaboration with Robert Downey Jr, was/is AMAZING) and writers (dude wrote LETHAL WEAPON, THE LAST BOY SCOUT, and THE LONG KISS GOODNIGHT!) working today, he’s exactly what this franchise needed. Marvel Studios took a big risk bringing him in to replace Jon Favreau (fanboys never like it when a director doesn’t finish off the trilogy) and that risk paid off. Black’s direction is exciting (the character stuff pops just as much as the action) and his contributions to the script (co-written with Drew Pearce) are unmistakable.

If you’ve ever seen a Black film then you know what to expect: Witty dialogue (tempered to fit the PG-13 but still full of snarky venom), a Christmas setting (which is weird to see in a movie being released in May), interracial “buddy cop” action (Tony and Rhodey’s mid-film shootout with The Mandarin’s thugs could’ve easily been a promo reel for Kilmer-less KISS KISS BANG BANG 2), meta-narration (Tony actually rewinds the narration at one point to give it a little more punch), funny thugs (James Dale Badge and Stephanie Szostak absolutely nail their few minutes of screen time), and a precocious but charming tyke (played by Ty Simpkins who was strangely excluded from almost all the marketing material despite being on-screen just as much as Don Cheadle and Gwyneth Paltrow). Only thing missing here is an R rating but Black did manage to score IM3 a very hard PG-13. Dude burns to death in the finale. TWICE. Keep that in mind if you planning on bringing someone along who is adverse to that sort of thing.

Acting-wise, do I really need to tell you RDJ, Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, and Jon Favreau deliver solid performances? I shouldn’t need to. You’ve seen the other two IRON MAN pics and THE AVENGERS so you already know this quartet is awesome. They’re extra awesome in IM3 because Black has tapped back into the chemistry they had in the first IRON MAN. No unnecessary conflicts (see Tony-Pepper, Tony-Rhodey, Tony-Happy, Tony-Everybody in IM2), shortchanged relationships (Where were Happy and Rhodey during THE AVENGERS?) contrived love triangles (see Tony-Natasha-Pepper in IM2) here.

But, as awesome as the Downey-Paltrow-Cheadle-Favreau combo is, Guy Pearce as AIM head honcho Aldrich Killian and Sir Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin steal the movie right out from under them. Do yourself a favor and just go into IM3 knowing these two knock it out of the park. Don’t read anything about their characters. Don’t read any spoilers. Don’t even let your buddies try to tell what happens with these two. No joke. If you go into IM3 fresh like I did and allow the twists and turns to shock you like they shocked me, you’ll be blown away. I guarantee it.

Black’s top notch direction and writing. Brian Tyler’s jazzy score. Simpkins, Pearce, and Kingsley’s performances. The Air Force One sequence. The Mandarin’s big reveal. The Iron Man army. Hot Pepper. The post-credits scene. The cameos from Shaun Toub (Yinsen!), William Sadler, Miguel Ferrer, and Stan Lee.

The biggest problem in IM3 is the script. While awesome due to Black’s contributions and nowhere as wonky as IM2, a good bit of IM3’s plot and character motivations -- I’d say probably around 45-50% -- make absolutely no f*cking sense. [SPOILER ALERT!!!] Why doesn’t Tony enlist The Avengers or SHIELD to help battle The Mandarin? Why does Tony give The Mandarin his home address but not bother prepping for his arrival? Why does Killian infect Pepper with Extremis? Why does Maya (Rebecca Hall) betray Killian to warn Tony and Pepper but then betray them because she never betrayed Killian in the first place? How does Extremis work exactly? Why does it heal people but also allow them to breathe fire and sometimes explode? Why is Tony’s armor bio-coded to only him and Pepper but Rhodey’s can be used by anyone? If Tony can remote control the suit using his funky Google glasses, does that mean ANYONE can remote control it? Why does Tony spend so much time repairing the Mark 42 armor when all he had to do was tell JARVIS to send the remaining 41 to help him? Why does Tony even need to be Iron Man when JARVIS could just as easily control the suits and never run into the problems of needing to sleep or being corrupted by evil? Why did Tony wait so long to have the shrapnel around his heart removed? So many questions!!!

IRON MAN 3 is fun. Early marketing had me worried it would be a dour DARK KNIGHT-esque journey into darkness but the final product turned out to be quite the opposite. While some of the twists are pretty controversial (I suspect a good many people are going to have problems with The Mandarin) and there are a quite a few plot issues (most of which will probably be cleared up in the “Deleted Scenes” section of the DVD/Blu-Ray), I had a blast with it. Definitely a GREAT threequel and a right proper way to end the IRON MAN franchise if Downey opts not to return.

Confession Time: I fully expect Guillermo Del Toro’s PACIFIC RIM to tank when it hits theaters this summer. My guess is it’ll probably make half its budget -- which is rumored to be somewhere between 150 to 200 million -- back at the domestic box office and maybe do decent business overseas. Japan, with their proclivity for all things Kaiju, will probably help push it into the black but not much further.

Why? Well, modern audiences have a real nasty tendency to reject that which isn’t a reboot, sequel, rehash, or based off an already established property. PACIFIC RIM is an original IP (one that pays homage to GODZILLA, ROBOT JOX, and GUNHED without remaking them) from a great director whose films always impress but rarely make money (MIMIC, HELLBOY, and HELLBOY 2: THE GOLDEN ARMY all underperformed). Throw in the fact that RIM is being released within weeks of a reboot (THE LONE RANGER) and six sequels (DESPICABLE ME 2, RED 2, GROWN UPS 2, THE WOLVERINE, THE SMURFS 2, 300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE) and you’ve got a recipe for disaster.

That having been said, I also fully expect PACIFIC RIM to be AMAZING. Maybe even the best movie of the summer. How could a movie featuring PORTAL baddie GLaDOS, Idris Elba cancelling the apocalypse, Charlie Hunnam mangling an American accent, Charlie Day doing a wicked JJ Abrams impersonation, and, oh yeah, Jaegers (AKA Giant F*cking Robots!) battling Kaiju (AKA Giant F*cking Monsters!) not be.

From acclaimed filmmaker Guillermo del Toro comes Warner Bros. Pictures’ and Legendary Pictures’ epic sci-fi action adventure “Pacific Rim.”

When legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity’s resources for years on end. To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge. But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju. On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes-a washed up former pilot (Charlie Hunnam) and an untested trainee (Rinko Kikuchi)-who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse.

Oscar® nominee Guillermo del Toro (“Pan’s Labyrinth”) is directing “Pacific Rim” from a script by Travis Beacham (“Clash of the Titans”). Thomas Tull, Jon Jashni and Mary Parent are producing, with Callum Greene serving as executive producer.

The film stars Charlie Hunnam (TV’s “Sons of Anarchy”), Idris Elba (“Thor”), Rinko Kikuchi (“The Brothers Bloom”), Charlie Day (“Horrible Bosses”), and Ron Perlman (the “Hellboy” films). The ensemble cast also includes Max Martini, Robert Kazinsky, Clifton Collins, Jr., Burn Gorman, Larry Joe Campbell, Diego Klattenhoff, and Brad William Henke.

SPOILER ALERT!!! The following post contains massive spoilers about THE AVENGERS and AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. Proceed at your own risk.

Slashfilm has uncovered how Clark Gregg will be reprising his role as Agent Phil Coulson, who died in THE AVENGERS, in upcoming ABC TV series AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D. Unfortunately for fans, Coulson’s resurrection doesn’t involve him becoming The Vision (a popular theory) or having a L.M.D (Life Model Decoy) but rather …well, scroll down and find out.

In the pilot, it’s revealed Nick Fury (Samuel L. Jackson), the ultimate super spy, faked Agent Coulson’s death on purpose to motivate The Avengers. Some S.H.I.E.L.D. members were in on it (including, possibly, Maria Hill played by Cobie Smulders) but The Avengers were not. Their security clearance wasn’t high enough. Coulson was forced to hold his breath as part of the ruse and that’s a point of contention among his colleagues. After the fact, Fury moved him to a remote location until things died down, and then he was reinserted into duty at the time of the show.

Fury planned the whole thing? I can see that. Hill was probably in on it? Doubtful since she seemed confused when Fury revealed Coulson’s blood-stained Captain America trading cards. Coulson faked his death by holding his breath? Give me a f*cking break.

Coulson took a spear to the chest, not a punch to the face. I'm guessing a massive hole in his chest (probably his lungs) would’ve made it pretty hard for him to hold his breath. Let’s hope this bit is just a rumor and that the real resurrection method (I’m all for a Coulson L.M.D.) is something better than this.

[via /film]

The first trailer and poster for DEAD MEN IN BLACK starring a Southern fried Jeff Bridges and very glum Ryan Reynolds have arrived online and …waitasec. Does that poster say R.I.P.D? You mean this material is NOT from a supernatural MEN IN BLACK spin-off but rather Universal’s big summer tentpole pic? Huh. You’ll understand my confusion once you've seen the trailer.

Jeff Bridges and Ryan Reynolds headline the 3D supernatural action-adventure R.I.P.D. as two cops dispatched by the otherworldly Rest In Peace Department to protect and serve the living from an increasingly destructive array of souls who refuse to move peacefully to the other side.

Veteran sheriff Roy Pulsifer (Bridges) has spent his career with the legendary police force known as R.I.P.D. tracking monstrous spirits who are cleverly disguised as ordinary people. His mission? To arrest and bring to justice a special brand of criminals trying to escape final judgment by hiding among the unsuspecting on Earth.

Once the wise-cracking Roy is assigned former rising-star detective Nick Walker (Reynolds) as his junior officer, the new partners have to turn grudging respect into top-notch teamwork. When they uncover a plot that could end life as we know it, two of R.I.P.D.’s finest must miraculously restore the cosmic balance...or watch the tunnel to the afterlife begin sending angry souls the very wrong way.

THR is reporting production on New Line Cinema’s VACATION reboot-quel starring Ed Helms (THE HANGOVER) and Christina Applegate (UP ALL NIGHT) has been temporarily delayed due to “creative differences” between the studio and writer/director duo John Francis Daley and Jonathan Goldstein. The delay is expected to only last a few months but could potentially go on longer if a compromise isn’t reached.

“A compromise about what?” you might ask. Well it seems the “creative differences” were mostly centered on the rating. THR doesn’t explicitly state who wanted which rating but the safe assumption would be that the studio wanted a PG-13 in order to bring in teens and families and the directors wanted an R to keep in line with their previous hits HORRIBLE BOSSES and IDENTITY THIEF.

Funny thing about this situation is both parties are kind of right. While the original VACATION and its immediate follow-up EUROPEAN VACATION were R-rated hits, CHRISTMAS VACATION was PG-13 and it made more than both those pics combined. Only VEGAS VACATION and the made-for-TV pic NATIONAL LAMPOON’S CHRISTMAS VACATION 2: COUSIN EDDIE’S ISLAND ADVENTURE made the mistake of going PG and they suffered for it.

R or PG-13, I really hope the two settle their differences and audiences get to go on another VACATION. Daley and Goldstein’s proposed concept of grown-up Rusty (Helms) forcing his family and folks (Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo) on a road trip to Wally World as a way to reconnect is a good one and it’d be an awful shame to see it not happen over something as silly as a rating.

(via THR)

Summit has released a new trailer and a series of headache-inducing (So much oversaturated Photoshop!) character posters for Dean Parisot’s RED 2. While I’d love to express some emotion about this bevy of promotional material, I’m still reeling from the fact some exec actually greenlit a sequel to RED.

Sure, the first one had some good performances (Helen Mirren basically stole the entire damn movie) and decent moments (Mirren gleefully gunning down baddies, Karl Urban and Bruce Willis beating the living hell out of each other, “The Pig”) but it was hardly worthy of a follow-up. Much less one that appears to be recycling all the best material from the first film but new actors (Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Lee Byung-hun) in place of the ones who are M.I.A. (Urban, Brian Cox) or were K.I.A. (Morgan Freeman, Richard Dreyfuss).

Oh well. Maybe Parisot will somehow make this totally unnecessary sequel necessary. Dude directed GALAXY QUEST once upon a time. That gives me the tiniest bit of hope this won’t end up being another THE WHOLE TEN YARDS.

In RED 2, the high-octane action-comedy sequel to the worldwide sleeper hit, retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses reunites his unlikely team of elite operatives for a global quest to track down a missing portable nuclear device. To succeed, they’ll need to survive an army of relentless assassins, ruthless terrorists and power-crazed government officials, all eager to get their hands on the next-generation weapon. The mission takes Frank and his motley crew to Paris, London and Moscow. Outgunned and outmanned, they have only their cunning wits, their old-school skills, and each other to rely on as they try to save the world—and stay alive in the process.

Diaz, Mann, and Minaj? Wow. There’s a trio I have absolutely no interest in seeing up on the big screen. My interest even manages to dip a little lower than “NONE” when I hear this flick is being sold as “a younger version of THE FIRST WIVES CLUB”.

So why am I am posting about this? The answer is simple: Kate Upton. I’ll see THE OTHER WOMAN because of her. I’ll endure what is sure to be two hours of pandering faux-feminist pop bubblegum bullplop just to witness a few minutes of cutie pie Upton trying to be an ACTRESS. Maybe she’ll succeed, maybe she’ll fail. Either way, I’ll be there.

Silly reason, I know, but I have a weakness for models-turned-actresses. Ever seen Cindy Crawford in FAIR GAME? How about Gisele Bundchen in TAXI? Paulina Porizkova in HER ALIBI? Rosie Huntington Whiteley in TRANSFORMERS: DARK OF THE MOON? Brooklyn Decker in JUST GO WITH IT or BATTLESHIP? Upton in THE THREE STOOGES or TOWER HEIST? I endured every one of those films, most of which were pretty f*cking bad, because of my weakness. Don’t judge me.

And try not to judge me too harshly for using this story as an excuse to post a copious amount of pics and outtakes from Upton’s recent Sports Illustrated cover shoot. The site was down when these hit and I’ve been looking for a good excuse to post them for weeks now. This news bit provided that. Enjoy.

Deadline is reporting Armie Hammer will be the Illya Kuryakin to Tom Cruise’s Napoleon Solo in Guy Ritchie’s upcoming reboot of THE MAN FROM U.N.C.L.E.

The original series, which ran from 1964 to 1968, centered around a two-man troubleshooting spy team, American Napoleon Solo (Robert Vaughn) and Russian Illya Kuryakin (David McCallum), working for U.N.C.L.E. (United Network Command for Law Enforcement) and their efforts to take down the evil forces of THRUSH.

With Cruise consistently knocking them out of the park as of late (MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE – GHOST PROTOCOL, JACK REACHER, and OBLIVION), Hammer on track to be the next big thing (THE LONE RANGER looks like loads of wicked fun), and Ritchie riding high off his SHERLOCK HOLMES pics, I see only good coming from these guys joining forces.

USELESS KNOWLEDGE: Steven Soderbergh was attached to direct a film adaptation of the series from a screenplay by Scott Z. Burns and George Clooney in the lead as Solo. Clooney later withdraw due to a recurring back injury and after his departure Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Ryan Gosling, Channing Tatum, Alexander Skarsgård, Ewan McGregor, Robert Pattinson, Matt Damon, Christian Bale, Michael Fassbender, Bradley Cooper, Leonardo DiCaprio, Joel Kinnaman, Russell Crowe, Chris Pine, Ryan Reynolds and Jon Hamm were considered as his replacement. Failure to secure a new lead and budget arguments with the studio led to Soderbergh leaving the project and it going into turnaround.