Film Bites: Jessica Biel Is Desperate To Uncover The Identity Of THE TALL MAN

Pascal Laugier’s THE TALL MAN has finally scored an official trailer and …I thought there’d be more balls. You know, silver balls. Ones with spikes that pop out one end and drill into people’s brains. Waitasec …this isn’t a standalone feature for Angus Scrimm? You mean he WON’T be reprising his iconic role as The Tall Man to menace Jessica Biel? Aw man. I was really hoping this was PHANTASM V! Oh well. Here’s the trailer. Enjoy it if you can.

Kidding aside, I’m guessing THE TALL MAN is deeper than this slightly generic trailer would have you believe. Like maybe the actual movie is uber-dark and the marketing guys didn’t really know how to sell it. That’d explain why this trailer is mostly comprised shots of Biel running in the rain (shades of her work in the TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE reboot) and Jodelle Ferland talking about dead towns (she was the little girl in SILENT HILL). “Cute girls in danger” is easily marketable. Not so easily marketable, except maybe to the hardcore fanboy crowd, are Stephen McHattie (star of the “lost” slasher pic DEATH VALLEY) and William B. Morris (“The Smoking Man” from THE X-FILES!). Their presence is a dead giveaway there’s something more dark and insidious to this flick.

I blame the marketing guys. I refuse to believe Laugier, director of the beyond f*cked-up MARTYRS, has been reduced to helming a kid-centric remake of the recent Amanda Seyfried clunker GONE.

USELESS KNOWLEDGE: THE TALL MAN is the latest addition to Jodelle Ferland’s run as a “Scream Princess”. In the last ten years, Ferland has appeared in THE CABIN IN THE WOODS, SILENT HILL, SOLE SURVIVOR, THEY, CARRIE, TIDELAND, THE MESSENGERS, SEED, BLOODRAYNE: DELIVERANCE, CASE 39, and THE TWILIGHT SAGA: ECLIPSE. She also provided the voice of “Little Sister” in BIOSHOCK 2 and has done episodes of SUPERNATURAL, MASTERS OF HORROR, STEPHEN KING’S KINGDOM HOSPITAL, and THE HAUNTING HOUR. Impressive.