CONAN THE BARBARIAN

Marcus Nipsel’s CONAN THE BARBARIAN begins with a scene so over-the-top, so viscerally shocking and so flat-out ballsy that I was almost inclined to give the film six bullets based on that bit alone. I won’t spoil the moment (it is far too good a bit to spoil here), but know that when the posters and trailers say that Conan (Jason Momoa) was “born on the battlefield” they are not joking. Dude was literally born on the battlefield! And delivered into this world by Ron Perlman no less! Hellboy delivered Conan unto the world!! Nerdgasm!

Unfortunately, the film (as good as it is) never reaches the heights of that sequence again nor does it ever reach the levels of greatness achieved by the 1982 version of CONAN THE BARBARIAN directed by John Milius. Yes, I realize the ‘82 version isn’t a “classic” in the truest sense of the word. Flick is basically a b-movie that did well for itself and made a star of a heavily-accented Austrian who was mostly then known for bodybuilding achievements and not his acting skills. Thing is, the ‘82 CONAN works. Not just as an action movie, but as…I don’t know…an art film. This new take on the character is less impressive.

Click on the pic to read my full review…